bar quotes...

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

~Jack Handy

bar quotes...

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” 
~ Drew Carey

bar quotes...

“There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting in a bar.”

http://www.someecards.com/seasonal-cards/sunscreen-tanning-drinking-weekend-bar-funny-ecard

bar quotes...

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." ~Jack Handey

bar quotes...

“It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of a friend, one’s present or future thirst, the excellence of the wine, or any other reason.”

-Unknown

bar quotes...

“Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much.  Then again, don’t drink too little.”  ~Herman “Jackrabbit” Smith-Johannsen